Toxic review
By Joel Humphries · Watched 08.25.26
★½ 1.5 / 5
Spoiler-free review
A glossy first half teases something muscular: sleek cinematography, knockout-looking frames, and Yash carving through well-staged fights, even if the swagger keeps circling familiar, empty beats. Then the interval dangles promise—and the movie detonates into a baffling second half that mistakes incoherence for audacity. Not AI-slop so much as less sensible than AI: you can outline the conceit on paper, but it still reads idiotic in execution. By the time clown ninja paratroopers descend, exhaustion replaces curiosity. At three hours, style can’t camouflage a story this messy or this dull.
Full review — contains spoilers
First impression: Clown. Ninja. Paratroopers.
But we'll get to that…
First half was stylish with beautiful cinematography, beautiful women looking beautiful, and some interesting fights with Yash killing everything. Despite those shiny positives, the 1st half overall was boring and trite. I was checking my watch an hour in. The interval was interesting enough to keep me from walking out. Finally something substantive happened.
After that though…
The second half was just a hot mess. I would call it AI slop, but I think that'd be an insult to AI. AI would give you a basic derivative plot that made sense. That's not what this second half was. There are no words really. I defy anyone to give a coherent explanation of what they were trying to do after the interval. And before any fanboys try. I understand the conceit of the plot. I could certainly write it out on paper but it was still idiotic.
And finally, of course, clown ninja paratroopers. If you nodded off midway through the second half and woke up to them, no, we can't explain it either.
Three hours man...😮💨